Oh hi again!

Boy, I'm not very good at keeping up with this, am I? Ok, new resolution: I will post 1 new entry each week. I need to hone my writing skills anyway, so why not here. No one's reading it anyway :-P

So, since my last post in March there've been a few events:

1) I was let go from my job
2) Got to spend a week in Tennessee making music and hanging out with dear friends
3) Am now on the CalFresh program (what used to be called Food Stamps. Gotta love re-branding)

So, what do I do? I'm not really sure yet. I'm applying for jobs all over the place, and in the meantime trying to put my skills out into the universe to try and get at least *some* income from working at home. I've just gotten my business cards in the mail (and I must say, they look great), my business website is about to relaunch, I'm working on inexpensive marketing materials, trying to become a social media "expert" (I'd say I'm already a bit of a power user, but I wouldn't say that I've learned how to monetize that use yet - since I spend so much time within the social media realm, it might be good to figure out a way to get PAID for it, no?), planning my school strategy, volunteering for the South Pasadena Arts Council, making a half-hearted attempt to be more fit, potty training my cats (yeah, you read that right), figuring out how to deal with my ADHD/OCD, and most of all...trying to be the best mom I can. Afterall, I've got all this "free" time right now. What a shame it would be to waste it all!

I find though that I have way too many things to pull my attention every day - this is especially bad for someone with ADHD. Where I used to think I was this amazing multi-tasker, I've had to come to grips with the fact that just having all these balls in the air isn't multi-tasking. Nothing...and I mean NOTHING was actually being done well. Most things were kinda sorta eventually mostly getting done. But there wasn't a single activity that I could sit back at the end of and say "yeah, I did that the best I possibly could have done. I'm pleased with it on all levels."

Clearly I haven't figured out how to modify this behavior yet though. I'll keep trying. In the meantime, I guess I figure I've got all this "spare" time...why not fill it to the brim!!

How do YOU manage to find a balance?

Popping up to say 'hi' again...

Yeah, I'm clearly not very good at keeping up with this blog.  Y'know, I think it's because I spill my guts on just about every annoying detail of my life over there on FB.  Ok, not quite EVERY annoying detail, but an awful lot of 'em.

I had a lovely little bout of mid-life-crisis depression there last week.  You know the sort of thing, I'm sure...the whole "what have I actually accomplished in 40 years?", "Oh hey, look at all that debt I've racked up", "Oooo...nifty, a thoroughly failed marriage under my belt!"...and the list could go on.

Fortunately I have kind of an awesome dad that lets me spew my depressing diatribe via email and he writes back and tells me how I'm using all the wrong factors for measuring my accomplishments by this age.  And he made an awful lot of valid points.  I was looking at the fact that my parents were purchasing their 2nd house by the time they were 40; we had lived in Europe for several years; my dad had a career that would suit him for a lifetime...but he reminded me that not only were those different times, but also extraordinarily different circumstances than what I find myself in today.  He did actually make me feel better in the end.

Then there's this reading I've been doing about a rather serious subject:  Adult ADD.  Not ADHD.  There's a big difference.  I've joked for years about having this, but it's become less and less funny and MUCH more serious and difficult to deal with.  Unfortunately, without insurance I'm not likely to be able to get an official diagnosis, nor manage to find out if medication would help.  Certainly over the years I've tried many of the non-medicinal strategies that books and websites suggest.  But I have a really hard time sticking to routines of any sort.  I suspect a light dose of something to calm the brain waves down to begin with might make things easier in that regard - which could not only help ME get better control of my life, but help me help my KIDS to gain more control as well.  See, the thing is, I'm pretty certain I've been dealing with ADD my entire life.  My school career would be the greatest indicator of it.  But so would my attempts at being a Virtual Assistant, or learning music, or any number of other activities.  Maybe this is a topic I'll delve into more deeply here.

OH, and the impetus for even writing a new post tonight?  Another friend of mine over on FB, a friend from high school actually, just started his own blog on blogger tonight (this morning?) and I think it's going to be terrific.  Go check him out!  It's called "My Bitchen Life" and it should be linked under the blogs I "Follow".

Ok, that's it for tonight. 'Night.

The wheels keep on turnin'

It's been an odd week of ups and downs.  But it all works out in the end.

Firstly, the kids & I had a possible opportunity to move into a 3BR unit in the same apartment complex we've lived in for almost 4 years.  It would make me immensely happy to be able to give both kids privacy of their own as they get older.  But there were some obstacles to be overcome, and, while I think they could still be dealt with, I've come to the conclusion that we are probably better off waiting until the next 3BR unit comes available - which may be as soon as July.  There are multiple benefits to waiting: The opportunity to truly get back on our financial feet before rent goes up with the bigger place; NOT having to pay to replace the carpets we'd pulled up a couple of years ago; AND, the unit we will likely be able to get into in July has an additional 1/2-bath, so it will ultimately be more useful for us.

Getting to that place of being ok with not moving was a struggle though.  I fought hard all week to try and overcome the obstacles that were in our way - spent a lot of time on my budget, at school finding out specifics about upcoming loan disbursements, attempted to get loans for money we were going to be short, did the taxes, advertised our current unit, SHOWED the unit to a bunch of different people, and just generally fretted quite a bit.  But in the end there's been a kind of peace to at least knowing where we're going to be for the next good bit.

There've also been other interesting things brewing:  An interview for an organization I would LOVE to work for - and could see myself being a part of for a very long time to come (hoping for a second interview and ultimately for getting the job itself); Even newly revealed responsibilities in my current job that are closer to what I was originally hired to do in the first place!

I have to say also that it's been a wonderful thing to have my weekends back.  For the nearly 4 years I was solely working from home doing legal transcription there was really never a day I could take off and not be worrying about doing enough typing to earn enough money.  It was tough when that job ended, but it's been SO wonderful in some ways to be once again working in a job that generally allows me to take most of my weekends off.  I may not actually TAKE all my weekends off, but having that freedom to do so definitely makes my time with the kids all that much better.

And speaking of time with the kids, my current struggle is helping my daughter with her ever-increasing 4th grade homework load.  Add to that the fact that she's struggling so badly in math that her teacher is considering recommending that we hold her back next year, and we've got ourselves a pretty heavy load.  She does NOT want to be held back, and I don't believe that ultimately she SHOULD be held back.  But with the addition of extra math practice every day, which takes away from her free time to play with her friends, we have quite a few emotional standoffs every day.

But ultimately, I have to say that this last week has been a vast improvement over the previous first couple of weeks of the year and I truly believe that 2011 will end up being an excellent year for our little family!

The jury is in...

At just 5 months shy of my 40th birthday, I am finally on call for jury duty -for the FIRST time ever!  I certainly wouldn't say that I'm particularly excited about this.  But it is, afterall, my civic duty.  Day 1, I don't have to go in.  I'm crossing my fingers that I don't have to go in at ALL this week, but we shall see.

The BLAMMO moment!

Here I was all gungho with this blog thing when I started out.  Then I quickly lost momentum and life got a little crazy, etc. etc. etc.  Perhaps with the new year I should attempt to keep this up more regularly.

I've had a few things on my mind as of late - stressors that have caused a fair amount of consternation.  I'm SO ready to be done with those things.  It's time to formulate a "plan" for getting where I want to be.  'Course, the first thing to do would be to actually know what it is that I really WANT!

I have a very dear friend who has also recently been going through a lot of life changes lately - a divorce, moving back in with her parents, beginning a new relationship, a new job, now moving into her own place, etc.  But from the start, she's had one major goal - to move to Hawaii.  She just didn't know how to make that happen.  A few days ago (literally, less than a week ago), it all seemed to fall into place.  She has a plan, and even a backup plan, that gets her where she wants to be in 3 months!  But this didn't happen by just saying to herself "self, I need a plan".  No, it happened in bits and pieces for awhile, until one day - BLAMMO!  It all became crystal clear and fell into place!

I need my "BLAMMO" moment!  My friend has suggested that finding my "quiet place" might be a good way to get myself to that moment of clarity that I need - she kinda has a point.  It's hard to find real moments of quiet with 2 elementary-school-aged kids, an ass of an ex-husband, and all the other normal "noise" of life.

This coming week I will be kid-free for the first time in quite awhile.  And by "kid-free", I don't mean just a couple of days or a few hours without my kids around.  I mean, for the first time in 7 months, I will have almost an entire week off from them.  While there's lots of regular life stuff to still deal with during these days, I think I'm going to take some time to try and find that quiet place.

Happy New Year, y'all!

Etsy pretties!

I'm a bit of an Etsy junky.  Here are my daily 3 picks.

Beautiful handmade shawl from Elde.

Beautiful handmade rose from The Crimson Poppy

Custom silhouettes from le papier studio.

More Useful Stuff

Yes, I do website design myself. But there are times when I need inspiration, or when I downright want someone else to do the work for me.  But I'm also dirt poor.  So free templates and other sources are some of my very favorite things.

I've never had a blog before, let alone used the Blogger templating system.  So I'm starting myself out with a free background from...

 

She's got a great style that I admire a lot.  If you have your own blog, consider going to her for an entire design package or for small elements such as a custom signature block to match your layout, or even for some really unique photo card layouts!

Once I have a better handle on what my blog will be about and what I need and want for it, she will be at the top of a very short list of designers I'll be going to!